Why Ranma is never seduced
by Xen-Oh
Summary: The title says it all *Lime warning*


Why Ranma is never seduced

  
A/N: I just thought of this

One shot or series?

Anyone can take this idea, just give me credit

Lime warning

It all started out normal, "PERVERT!!!" After a quick malleting, one Akane Tendo stomped upstairs leaving one very disgruntled Ranma Saotome.  Around him were his parents and the rest of the Tendo family. They were all ignoring this (Stupid tomboy! Calling me a pervert…I don't even know what that is!!!) He thought bitterly. So Ranma went to the source of valid information, his mother, "Mom, I was wondering…" Nodoka Saotome turned to her son, who had a curious look on his face "Yes son, what is it?"  Ranma smiled and asked the words that changed everything

"What is a pervert?"  Everything fell silent,   The Tendo family was staring at him disbelievingly and Genma even dropped his chopsticks. Nodoka Saotome's left eye twitched, "Why do you want to know son?"  Ranma scratched the back of his head, "Well, ever since I got here, Akane has been calling me that, but I don't know what it means, is it bad?" At this point Nabiki spat out her drink and started laughing, "OH THIS IS JUST RICH!  ARE YOU TELLING US YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A PREVERT IS??"  Ranma blinked, "Well no, so can someone tell me?"   Kasumi coughed, and Ranma turned to her, "Well Ranma-kun,  a pervert is a person who does bad things in the name of intercourse"  Ranma blinked "In-ter-what?"  Everyone present faced-faulted

"SON SHE MEANS SEX!!!"  Ranma blinked, "Sex?  Is it yummy?" Kasumi, and Nabiki turned bright red.  Mrs. Saotome sighed, "Your father never taught you about the birds and the bees?" Ranma shook his head. "The only time I can remember pop's not teaching me the art was when he was playing with those dancers. He said he won a game so they had to take off their clothes."  Genma was gone, a dust cloud of his shape remained, When the cloud faded, a note {Gone Training, Be back whenever}

Nodoka's eye twitched, "Pack your things son, there is a lot of things you need to learn" She turned to Kasumi, "You're coming too Kasumi" Kasumi, epped and looked to where Nabiki was, but she too was gone,  (I'll get her for this) And that was Kasumi's first evil thought, she then turned to Ranma, (Oh well,  At least he's cute)  She bowed, "Hai Aunty"  Soon their bags was packed.  

Right before they left Happosai jumped down,  "Ranma my lad, I heard of your problem, This is the ultimate martial arts" Ranma's eyes widened, "The Anything Goes School and Wham Dhem and Bang Dhem!  Use it well" He handed a dictionary thick book, which Ranma put, in his bag. "Why thanks ol' man. I'll master this new form of Martial Arts!!"  Happosai nodded, a proud look in his eyes, as he watched Ranma, Mrs. Saotome and a blushing Kasumi walk off into the horizon

A month later:

            All of Nerima by then had been told the reason why, Ranma was never seduced,  thanks to Nabiki and for two weeks they laughed.  Cologne almost had a heart attack from laughing so heard.  All of his rivals went to the hospital from busting a gut. Many tried to confront Ranma, but he was gone and no trace could be found of him, Mrs. Saotome or Kasumi.  Then Happosai revealed he gave Ranma the martial arts edition of sex and everyone paled.    Everyone knows how Ranma masters a technique and everyone knows that he can improve on them.  The girls spent many days drooling, and the men did many stupid things to assert their manhood, which backfired in a big way.  The local guys become less desirable while the 'wild horse' become so much more. Then one day he came back

            It was a sight to see, Mrs. Saotome, walked with pride; she finally corrected all the damage Genma has done.  Kasumi was walking bowlegged, but radiated such an afterglow that she had a pink battle aura. As for Ranma.  His pigtail was down to his back; his muscles bigger and his face had a goatee that only added to his good looks.  Gone was the look of naivety and innocence, it was replaced by cunning, an unleased animal waiting to spring. 

His curse was gone, he mastered the Neko-Ken and he even made Herb a real woman.  She was still passed out. Kiima was on cloud 900 and many Amazons where having trouble walking a straight line…at least for another month. He stopped by Juban and showed those Sailor Scouts a thing or three hundred.  Moon dumped Tuxedo Mask and every senshi has his number on speed dial.  He also made very good  'friends' with the goddess of the past and future even a couple demons.  Because he left an impression he was made into a god, which boosted his already unparallel endurance to new dimensions.  It was time for Nerima.  As he walked by, Happosai saluted him, "Ranma I am please to name you as new Grandmaster of Anything Goes.  I can retire, knowing my heir has became a master" There were tears in Happosai's eyes.  Ranma smirked, causing happily married women to leave their husbands. His walk oozed confidence.  Ranma winked at a girl and she fainted.  Ranma was back and he was ready to claim what was his

            Nabiki was reading a book in her room, wearing skimpy shorts and a shirt that exposed her lean stomach.  She was lost in her steamy romance novel she didn't notice the door open and close. "Nabiki" said a deep husky voice that drove shivers up her spine. She dropped her book and gasped, "Ran-Ran-Ranma?"  Ranma grinned which made her warm all over, he threw the book away and leaned close to Nabiki's ear "Call me Ranma-Sama" She never stood a chance.

18 hours and about a hundred positions later

            Nabiki's eyes were glazed over; she had trouble doing anything that required thinking.  She had a permanent goofy grin on her face; she just said one thing, "So big… Ranma-sama"  Ranma smirked.  He kissed her forehead and that drove her over again and Nabiki went over the edge again just from that kiss and passed out.  Ranma took out a very long list, "Next"

Nekohaten

            The doors exploded and everyone stopped dinning, in the entrance was Ranma dressed in tight leather pants and a white shirt opened to reveal his chest. In his hand was a very, very big gun, "WHOEVER ISN'T XIAN PU THE AMAZON, BETTER GET THE FUCK OUT!!!" To prove his point he fired off a shot.  Everyone ran out the resturant,  Cologne holding a struggling duck handed Ranma a crate of condoms. "Go easy Son-in-law, make my Shampoo a woman."  Ranma grinned. As Cologne left.  Shampoo was still standing there holding a tray. 

Three days later

            Shampoo was still holding the tray, "Ranma-Sama!"  Ranma checked off Shampoo's name, he was leaning against an empty crate of condoms.  "Ah Ucchan"

Ucchans. 

            Uyko was very exicted, Word was going around that Ranma was visiting his fiancés. So when Ranma came in wearing nothing but a loin cloth.  The guys stood up, "No more honing in on our girls!"  Thirty guys jumped him and Ranma just started whistling his favorite tune as he popped his knuckles. The tune he was singing, The Nutcracker.  Minute's later thirty guys went home with high-pitched voices, leaving Ranma, Ukyo and twenty-five girls. "Just call me Ranma-Sama"  

Next week

            Ucchan's was closed, temporary a center for the CERK victims…participants [Close Encounter of the Ranma Kind] and the newly formed meeting grounds for the up and raising R.H. group, [Ranma's Harem]  Ranma smiled not even a bit tried. "Hmm, She's next, great"

Four days later,

            The Blue Thunder walked into his sister's room and screamed like a little girl.  His sister, all tied up and numerous ways, with many bondage tools on the ground, used, "Oh Lord and Master Ranma take me again" Ranma pulled out the flaming whip, "Sure thing Ko-chan"

Ranma stopped and pulled out a shorter, but still longer list, "Oh yes Yuka"

Five days later

            "How come you don't get weak when I drain you," Asked a very happy, very naked adult Hinako.  Ranma was smoking a cigar, "Your' feeding off my 'other energy, and that I got enough to spare" Ms. Hinako giggled. "Can I call you teacher while we play, Ranma-Sama?"  Ranma nodded while playing out a list with over a thousand names crossed off, the only one left, Akane Tendo"

Next week

Akane was locked in her room, clutching P-chan, "Oh P-chan, I'm so scared, I should have never called Ranma a pervert if it was going to lead to all this. How was I supposed to know he didn't know about sex??"  P-chan paled as a shadow appeared over Akane, "Hi Tomboy, ready to become a woman?" Akane shook her head, "yes" She paused.  "No" She nodded.  The same thing happened for the next ten minutes and it ended with her taking her clothes off.  P-chan bit Ranma and was quickly stuck in a cage to watch, "Call me Pervert-Sama, tomboy"

The End


End file.
